I can assure you, that is a completely different procedure

"Yes, [dog name] is here to be spaded."

Name withheld, for reasons of personal safety...

Commenting on the difference between one new, amiable equine clinician and her less-agreeable senior:

"At what point do you go from being human to being an equine vet?"

Lovely lady lumps?

Liz: "I miss seeing my bumps..."


(Referring to the rowing version of bumps, but hilarious out of context)

That's gotta chafe...

"Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is cycling with no underpants on?"

(Overheard near the footpath to Granchester)

Recycling?

Rachel: "I'm going to go to the loo and refill my bottle."

Toxicology...

"the reason that is says "Do Not Eat" is that it is a Non-Food"

Ah, the warm glow of wisdom...

Lecturer quotes #2 - Insights from a pig vet

"If I run late, the best bits are at the end. I'm sorry, that's the way life is"

"Some records are like Harry Potter - mostly fiction."
A few people looked confused, trying to work out which parts of Harry Potter aren't fiction.

"Goodness me! I would hate to think what's going on in a boar's prepuce for half the year"
Not sure about anyone else, but I'd hate to think what's going on in there at any time.

"I can assure you that profound sunburn is a severe deterrent for active sex."

"It's a bit of a disadvantage to your breeding history if you're dead."

"What you can't fix with bailer's twine... probably isn't worth fixing at all."