The last five years made us cynical

The student canteen has been renovated over the summer to resemble a habitable break room.

Ellie: "The vet school is making an effort for us. Something bad is going to happen."

Greg: "Here's a new coffee machine... and here are your radio collars."

SPVS Lancaster

Some quotes from the final year seminar, for all those that missed out.

"Vets have a little bit of fluffy as well."

"If you learn absolutely nothing else from this session - always be neutral to call centre operatives."
Apparently they harass you more if you feign interest or get angry. I will have to try this.

"There are only two things you need to know about cardiology:
They're all going to be on all the drugs before they die, and, they're all going to die."

"How many of your cats are foreign?"
The speaker then proceeded to do a Bond villian-esque impression of a cat.

"Every kennel cough [vaccination appointment] is an opportunity to find somewhere else you can go."
Recommending that you talk to clients about where they are going on holiday when they bring their dog in.

That's one way to get the food in.

After consulting a bird expert re: an injured buzzard...

Receptionist:
"We need to feed it by putting a tube in through its... coccyx... or oesophagus... or something."

In denial

My sister, after I had informed her that one of her fostered hedgehogs was, in fact, male.

"No, she's a girl! I gave her a girl's name and I think of her as a girl so she is a girl!"

I can assure you, that is a completely different procedure

"Yes, [dog name] is here to be spaded."

Name withheld, for reasons of personal safety...

Commenting on the difference between one new, amiable equine clinician and her less-agreeable senior:

"At what point do you go from being human to being an equine vet?"

Lovely lady lumps?

Liz: "I miss seeing my bumps..."


(Referring to the rowing version of bumps, but hilarious out of context)