Friday 3 June 2011

Yay for entertaining company reps

Collected quotes from the speaker during his series of short talks this afternoon.

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Self-satisfied tone, at the end of an MS-Paint animation showing how IgE should work to kill blood parasites -
"And our hero the mast cell ATTACKS, and the parasite is dead. Serves you right, you bad parasite."

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"You could do [superfluous test], but that's just diagnostic masturbation."

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Looking at a results panel to interpret acid-base balance -
"That's a pathetic attempt at respiratory alkalosis and that dog should be ashamed."

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Speaker: "So this is a female Great Dane called Thelma. Fantastic name."
[students smile, but are visually bemused]
Speaker: "Come on! Haven't any of you ever seen Scooby Doo?"
Me: "... No, that's Velma. With a V."
Speaker: [crestfallen] "Really? I've been using this slide and giggling to myself about that for a couple of years now..."

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Speaker: "Acid-base tends to be taught very poorly in vet schools -"
Student: "Ben teaches it!"
Speaker: "And how are your lectures?"
Ben: "... Pretty dry."

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