What fine eyes you have...

My eyes are a light, icy blue.

Greg: "I've only ever met one other person with the same colour eyes as you. I say person...It was a Husky."

Further neuro banter

Background: a strikingly-patterned cat has been more-or-less abandoned with us, with the owners seemingly avoiding contact. This was during a discussion of how to re-open lines of communication.

Neuro 1: "We should get some fake tiger fur from the market. Start sending them scraps in the mail."
Neuro 2: "Maybe stick a bit of strawberry jam on the back first..."

Neurologist banter

Loosely transcribed from what I can remember. The Neurologists shall remain anonymous.

Discussing the treatment of a difficult case:
Neurologist one: I was thinking of using Carbamazepine to treat this dog...
Neurologist two: You could, but it has no effect and it went out of fashion about 20 years ago.
Neurologist one: Some of us aren't old enough to remember that.
Neurologist two: Some of us are old enough to have have read the literature.

Later....
Neurologist one: I just wanted to ask your opinion. Now I've heard it and I choose to ignore it.

The next day, discussing a dog harness that Neurologist 2 was lending to Neurologist 3 for his dog.
Neurologist 2 (to the head nurse): By the way, this is my harness. My own personal harness.
Head nurse: I don't really want to know what you use it for....

The last five years made us cynical

The student canteen has been renovated over the summer to resemble a habitable break room.

Ellie: "The vet school is making an effort for us. Something bad is going to happen."

Greg: "Here's a new coffee machine... and here are your radio collars."

SPVS Lancaster

Some quotes from the final year seminar, for all those that missed out.

"Vets have a little bit of fluffy as well."

"If you learn absolutely nothing else from this session - always be neutral to call centre operatives."
Apparently they harass you more if you feign interest or get angry. I will have to try this.

"There are only two things you need to know about cardiology:
They're all going to be on all the drugs before they die, and, they're all going to die."

"How many of your cats are foreign?"
The speaker then proceeded to do a Bond villian-esque impression of a cat.

"Every kennel cough [vaccination appointment] is an opportunity to find somewhere else you can go."
Recommending that you talk to clients about where they are going on holiday when they bring their dog in.

That's one way to get the food in.

After consulting a bird expert re: an injured buzzard...

Receptionist:
"We need to feed it by putting a tube in through its... coccyx... or oesophagus... or something."

In denial

My sister, after I had informed her that one of her fostered hedgehogs was, in fact, male.

"No, she's a girl! I gave her a girl's name and I think of her as a girl so she is a girl!"