Yes, Really

Student: "I think [this cat] might be a bit wobbly from the buprenorphine."
Clinician: "Oh. Really?"

[cat falls over, coming to rest on its back with legs in the air]

Clinician: "... Maybe we'll reduce the dose."

Ancient lecture notes = hidden treasures!

Said by an infamous, somewhat sarcastic lecturer of his clinical career:

"80% of my patients survived despite my best efforts to bugger them up. Once I discovered steroids and broad-spectrum antibiotics there was no holding me back..."

And a comment in the margin:

"Ah, the married man: defined by his continuous knowledge of just how wrong he is."

----

Student chat during a very long, overly dry lecture on guns and ammunition in a veterinary context:

1: "I can't believe we have to sit here for another hour and a half."
2: "At least we know what ammo we shouldn't use when we shoot ourselves in 30 minutes' time."
Lecturer: "... and this one is very useful for kneecapping and stuff like that. Very good."
2: "Is it just me or have his psychotic tendencies suddenly surfaced?"
1: " 'GUNS!!' "

Rule 1: There Is A Drug For Every Problem

Regarding a solidly-sleeping classmate a few minutes before the lecture was due to start...

Tom: "Quick, get the Antisedan!"

Why the clinical vets never forget him

Bainbridge: "Everything was better in my day - except the cannabis. That was crap."