There are a few ways this simile could end...

Rachel: "People are like cards - one on its own won't stand up, but two will until some arse comes and shakes the table."

Backchat

Elena: "I was going to say, 'You cannot call me gobby'... but then I realised that would make me look more gobby."

Lecturer quotes #2 - Insights from a pig vet

"If I run late, the best bits are at the end. I'm sorry, that's the way life is"

"Some records are like Harry Potter - mostly fiction."
A few people looked confused, trying to work out which parts of Harry Potter aren't fiction.

"Goodness me! I would hate to think what's going on in a boar's prepuce for half the year"
Not sure about anyone else, but I'd hate to think what's going on in there at any time.

"I can assure you that profound sunburn is a severe deterrent for active sex."

"It's a bit of a disadvantage to your breeding history if you're dead."

"What you can't fix with bailer's twine... probably isn't worth fixing at all."

Why the clinical vets never forget him

Bainbridge: "Everything was better in my day - except the cannabis. That was crap."

Lecturers again

Re. A. pleuropneumoniae infection:
"Don't have time to eat. Don't have time to drink. Too busy dying."

and just randomly:
"Now remember, there's enough histamine in your bodies to kill you. Do NOT release all your histamine in one go. You'll be dead."