Ancient lecture notes = hidden treasures!

Said by an infamous, somewhat sarcastic lecturer of his clinical career:

"80% of my patients survived despite my best efforts to bugger them up. Once I discovered steroids and broad-spectrum antibiotics there was no holding me back..."

And a comment in the margin:

"Ah, the married man: defined by his continuous knowledge of just how wrong he is."

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Student chat during a very long, overly dry lecture on guns and ammunition in a veterinary context:

1: "I can't believe we have to sit here for another hour and a half."
2: "At least we know what ammo we shouldn't use when we shoot ourselves in 30 minutes' time."
Lecturer: "... and this one is very useful for kneecapping and stuff like that. Very good."
2: "Is it just me or have his psychotic tendencies suddenly surfaced?"
1: " 'GUNS!!' "

This is why I keep going to rounds

 Whilst discussing the treatment plan for an icteric dog...

Clinician one: "Is the dog ill?"
Clinician two: "Well, she's bright yellow..."
Clinician one: "Millions of people in the world are yellow and they're not necessarily ill."

Looks can be deceiving

From Andrew's description:

Clinician: "Don't look so worried."
Andrew: "...That's just my face."

Yeah, it does

During a discussion with non-vet friends about the "just why would you choose to do that?" aspects of our relative career paths - 

Me: "Well, in the future I'll be putting my hand in a glove and putting it...up...things."
[brief pause]
Richard: "You know, I was trying to see the innuendo in that, and then I realised that's what your job actually involves."

Well, death isn't a welfare issue...

During a public health revision session, a slide of a pig comes up on screen. It appears to be smiling.

Student: "Oh, it looks really happy!"
Ian McCrone: "Everyone always says that. But it's dead."

Guess what this was about?

Megan:

"[annoyed muttering] If it won't mount we'll have to give it a name..."

Nicholsonisms

"That dog's going to be smoking on its tube as it wakes up!"
Pro-tip reminding us to keep an ET tube in for as long as possible after performing surgery on a brachycephalic dog.

"Greg can be your vice."
Plates and screws practical - when applying dynamic compression to the fake bones, they couldn't be held still with a vice.

"My goodness, I was nearly inhaled!"
After I yawned...