One more from Farm

During discussion of a freemartin heifer that has, understandably, failed to conceive -

Student: "We could check if the AI was done properly."
[Male] Resident: "Well, I think you should know that I inseminated her myself."

[pregnant pause, students keep a straight face]
...
[moment appears to have passed]
...
[resident and clinician make eye contact]

Clinician: "pfffheeeee hee heeeeee..."

Re-reading those pig notes was worthwhile after all

G. Pearce: "I never go anywhere without my melon baller."

I found this gem in the pig dermatology notes. I only vaguely remember that this was about sampling pigs' ears for mange but it's funnier out of context.

Warning: Students may spontaneously combust

Greg: "I spend a lot of time with kerosine in my mouth."
IM: "Isn't kerosine flammable?"
Greg: "That's kinda the point."


This followed a discussion of what could be suitable for uterine lavage in cows. Although it was generally agreed by the overwhelming number of women in the room that kerosine would be pretty awful to have lavaged into a uterus, Greg disagreed on account of his firebreathing experience.

Cow juice

The maximum allowed amount of cells allowed in milk in this country is 400,000 cells per ml... So, after discussing how many neutrophils would be in a cup of tea:

Greg: "That's why I don't drink milk!"
Karmen: "You eat stuff off the floor, and out of the bin. Shut up."